‘In psychology and human communication, validation is the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other’s opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed.’ Wikipedia
If you don’t feel validated by other people perhaps it’s time to look at your behaviour….
Some of you may think that it’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with everyone else! But what if it hasn’t? What if you were to consider that the ‘buck’ stops with you? Just think about it.
You see, people do what people do, (very profound I know) but my point is that whilst they’re doing what they’re doing, we have a choice about how we react. When we react differently, situations and relationships can change.
The thing is that we cannot, however hard we try, change other people. I know that might not seem like ‘good news’ to some of you, but actually it is. The moment I took responsibility for my behaviour I was able to move from ‘reaction’ to ‘action’. I got my power back. Spending years trying to change other people is completely exhausting, and I don’t know about you, but I never succeeded in changing anyone! All that happened was that I got more and more frustrated and unhappy.
If people aren’t validating you maybe it’s because they don’t feel you validate them. How about putting your focus on other people instead of yourself? Why not try a little experiment and practice treating people the way you would like to be treated, and see what happens? and instead of waiting for someone else to respect you, why not practice treating yourself with genuine respect? Perhaps other people will start to communicate differently with you as a result, (and even if they don’t, so what, you’ll feel great anyway!)
Right now why not begin by taking a moment to acknowledge yourself for something? Afterall, you’re doing your best aren’t you? Yep, it’s time to be kind to yours truly ……
Talking of Validation……take a look at this …..
Speak soon ……..